Last week, I asked on Twitter if you had any eCommerce questions that I could answer. I was inundated with email replies. Here are the first three: Jessa from Austin asks: “I walked in late at a speech you were giving in Chicago and heard you scold someone on your panel about remarketing but I didn’t understand why. Are you not a fan of remarketing? We’re making about $35k a month from it which is a lot for our company.” Short answer: I am a fan of remarketing as long as the costs are attributed appropriately. Long answer: I LOVE Remarketing. Ok, that’s a lie. Personally, I despise it. (One glance at my search history and you’d understand why. Ha!) Professionally, I think it’s fantastic. HOWEVER, what I do NOT love is that most marketers grossly overestimate the “profit” of their remarketing efforts. For example, many folks will wax poetically about how lucrative their abandoned cart remarketing program is but they’ll only … [Read more...]
5 of the BIGGEST Lies Conversion Consultants Are Telling You Right Now!
Lie #1: “Improving conversion starts with color testing your buttons. Button testing is THE most important thing because red/orange/green/rainbow/polka-dotted/zebra-spotted buttons perform x times better than any other color buttons.” You know what? Red/orange/green/rainbow/polka-dotted/zebra-spotted buttons can perform x times better than any other color buttons and in the big scheme of things, there are hundreds (yes, hundreds) of tests that you could be doing that are more fruitful. You can test the size of the buttons (the bigger the better), the number of buttons (the more the merrier) and the language on the buttons – they’ll all make a difference. But is that your biggest swing? If you want to hit it out of the park, is an orange button versus a red button really going to do it? Probably not. You’d be better served by testing new product(s) OR a new offer OR something – anything -- else that makes you feel queasy in your … [Read more...]
Never Befriend A Man Named Hussein
Please note: this is not a post about Obama. I’ve already addressed how my brother saved his life once and I’m not going down that rabbit hole again. Ever. Too many full-tilt crazy people and LRAs on my list. You ever get introduced to someone and the minute you hear their name, your brain kicks in and says “I knew it! This guy? Definitely a jackass!” There’s a scientific reason for that feeling – and you know you’ve had it -- but this is an ecommerce post so I won’t go into the details here. (Jump to the end if you want to know how you can find out the brain explanation.) One of my closest friends has this hate-them-in-your-tummy feeling about girls named Amy. He despises them all. Well, except me and that’s because I frequently remind him that my touchy-feely-hippy-crunchy-love-light-and-joy mother wanted to name me Star so Amy is really just a placeholder for the poledancer/stripper name I should have had. Star … [Read more...]
8 Things That Drive Your Users Bat-Sh*t Crazy
“I saw you in the gym. You’re very strong.” He said. “Especially for a girl.” It was 6:11 am and the silver-haired gentleman standing outside my door was wearing a burgundy-colored, Hugh Hefner-style robe and bright white tube socks. I made a mental note to myself that I should start staying at Hampton Inns instead of luxury hotels. Not only is the wireless FREE -- not $29.95 per flipping day -- but Hampton Inns have far fewer crazy-ass people. (They probably don’t lock their fire doors either.) Before I could reply, he continued. “That’s why I need you to open my ketchup.” For the love of all things holy. Before I could conclude if that was the worst pick-up line EVER, he thrust a teensy bottle of Heinz from his right pocket. “I can’t get it open.” He stammered. “I knew you were up because I saw you walk by when they were delivering my eggs. You really should wear shoes in public places. The world is very … [Read more...]
Faking Orgasms
The woman in Room #837 is faking an orgasm. I know this because I’m five feet outside her door in this “luxury” Sydney hotel listening to her. (The only thing “luxury” about this place is the amount they charge to access the internet.) If my phone had any sort of signal, I’d find the YouTube link to the famous scene from When Harry Met Sally and play it as loudly as possible so she’d know how it was done. But alas, I don’t have any signal. Nor do I have any energy. It’s at least 110 degrees in here and I’m literally melting. (Think Wicked Witch scene at the end of Wizard of Oz but 100 times more dramatic.) I pound on the door four more times and beg: “Please. Please. Open. This. Door.” Whimper. “Please...” I think about offering to participate in a threesome if they’d just let me out of here but I’m not quite that desperate. I’m still deciding if death would be better than joining the awful sex they are … [Read more...]
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